Hell – Campaigning and Voting

A politician dies and his soul arrives in Heaven where he is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.  We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the man.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up.  What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind.  I want to be in Heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.  They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is Satan, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.  Then his wife shows up looking like she did when she was twenty, and with her are the mistresses he had over the years all looking more ravishingly beautiful and erotic as ever.  They take him to a large, luxurious bedroom and spend the night fulfilling his every pleasure.  They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises… The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit Heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud playing the harp and singing.  They have a good time and before he realizes it the 24 hours have gone by and St Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven.  Now choose where you want to spend eternity.”

The politician reflects for a minute then he answers:

“Well, I would never have thought it.  I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would rather be in Hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren wasteland covered with filth and garbage and reeking of disgusting stenches.  He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.  The women with whom he had spent the night were all slovenly and hideous and stank.

The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the politician.  “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, joked and danced, and I even had an orgy with all these gorgeous women and it was awesome!  Now there’s just a wasteland piled in filth and everyone looks miserable and disgusting!  What happened?”

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning.  Today you voted.”

[Author’s Note: Jesus promises that those who love God and accept His Son as their Savior will spend eternity in Heaven where they will be with the Lord Almighty and the family that loves them.  Muhammad promises that those who love Allah and do his will in waging Jihad on the infidel will spend eternity in Paradise with 72 virgins who will serve them in every way they wish.  Who does that sound like?]